Hollywood Celebrities Gossips

This! Is! Not American Idol. So why am I here? What could I possibly be doing functioning in recap form without Coke cups (Wha?! Pepsi? Aw, remember this?) and utterly predictable song choices involving hits from artists whose names rhyme with Fitney Blouston (Oh wait!)? Filling in for your vacationing X Factor recapper, Shaunna Murphy, that's what!

But never fear — we're in this together folks. And prior to seeing the episode, I thought we would go through this like Simon Cowell got through Season 9: Slowly and begrudgingly. Because unlike your dear Shaunna, I am somewhat new to the X Factor train, which, from what I know, rides you straight past our judges "homes," into a Pepsi commercial, and straight out onto the Island of Forgotten Misfit Reality Stars. But this season is different! This season we have bright-eyed promise, Britney Spears, and, of course, Canadian wonder Justin Bieber. So what’s all the fuss aboot? Let’s get into it!

As screaming host man made clear during his voiceovers (nope, Dunkleman is still worse), on Wednesday night, our judges were handed their teams. And first up tonight was L.A. Reid’s group of youthful twenty and thirtysomethings. Oh wait, did I say youthful twenty and thirtysomethings? I meant slowly decaying corpses. At least if you ask L.A., a man who passes much judgment despite a friendship with a man named Scooter. (Did he learn nothing from Valerie?) Yes, the big news was the Biebes and his manager, Scooter Braun, were on tap to coolly bop their heads and say insightful things like, “They have to give it their all,” “He has a good voice,” and “She was singing, eh?” Let’s roll through L.A.’s lineup of moving carcasses:

Jason Brock: “Big Girls Don’t Cry,” by Fergie: The former misfit delivered an impassioned — if a bit overstated — performance of the hit single. The judges, however, seemed unimpressed until Bieber perked up halfway through the song, possibly simply identifying with the lyrics, “I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket.” Poor Bieber blanket. All alone. A decent start that would have been made better if Jason’s speaking voice didn’t sound like he was constantly stumbling out of a Watch What Happens Live taping.

David Correy: “Domino,” by Jessie J: The man who chose the most complicated method possible to reconnect with his birth mother delivered a strong performance of the Jessie J single. Negative points, however, for pointing at the skyline while singing about the “Hollywood stars.” 1999 called, and Backstreet Boys want their moves back.

Daryl Black: “She’s Gone,” Hall & Oates: I agreed with Bieber here when he essentially stated that Daryl was, in fact, a human who made noises from his mouth. Sorry, Daryl — you were as forgettable as Johnny Mnemonic. Oh, Canada.

Tate Stevens: “One,” Brian McKnight: X Factor’s resident cowboy may be unique, but his vocal chops need plenty of work to be fit for a $5 million prize. But, likely for him, this isn’t a singing competition, silly! It’s about the package. And when you have Bieber rooting for you, you know you’re the Toronto Maple Leafs. Or you have a leg up in the competition. Bonus points to Tate, however, for singing “One” on 10/11/12, a day dedicated to the art of counting.

Vino Alan: “Sober,” Pink: I wanted to like Vino after hearing his horrific backstory, but, unfortunately, if I wasn’t sober, I’d swear he was the seventh member of Crazy Town.

Tara Simon: “The Reason,” Hoobastank: You know that girl back in drama club who only loved the Rent soundtrack more than the spotlight? That was Tara, a vocal coach who claimed in the course of 60 seconds, “I feel like I will win the whole thing,” “I’ve always been a star — people have just now caught onto it,” and “I want to be America’s darling.” Typically, however, darlings don’t use the meat cleaver that is their voice to murder a song that was already a bloody mess. Then to clinch the whole audition with, “Thank you, Jesus.” Well, there’s “The Reason” to show yourself straight out of L.A.’s door.

Following the ghoulish sight of people who have outlived puberty, it was time to move on to Britney Spears group of teens, guest mentored by will.i.am. And we finally learned why the Black Eyed Peas singer gave himself the nickname — as a reminder that he is Will, and not a series of objects and things he associates with people. “She’s like a caterpillar … he’s like a used hairbrush … she’s like that plastic thing that sits in the center of delivery pizza … he’s like lamp. I love lamp!”

Meanwhile, the children sat waiting for their turn to sing, “joking” about “fighting to the death.” You see, they’re all competing against one another, but no, they really aren’t, because they’re all the same, but no, they’re really competing and they all better watch out, cue teenage eye rolls, and BAM! At least two of these girls suddenly became emotionally damaged. Hooray for child stardom! Ready for precociousness?

Diamond White: “I’m With You,” Avril Lavigne: Funny how the episode didn’t hit its stride until the introduction of this young teen, who managed to deliver a beautiful rendition of a hit that’s a song version of hangnails. Plus, Diamond is adorable, sparkling, and ripe for plenty of jewelry puns. A writer’s dream.

Reed Deming: “Hey There Delilah,” Plain White Ts: Remember Idol’s Eben Franckewitz? Short, tiny, poised? Extinguished “Set Fire to the Rain” until it was a heap of semifinal rubble? Well, Reed was like a slightly more talented and robotic version of Eben. And, I have to admit, I dug it, despite wondering what will happen when his voice eventually changes. (Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease on the live X Factor stage!) will.i.am labeled Reed “The Emperor,” which makes me wonder why he’s imagining Reed without clothes and oh my god does this mean I am too? Do I have to report myself to my neighbors?

James Tanner: Nondescript Rap Song: This child raps. It’s adorable. But, sorry, James — you’re about as gansta as Eminem is a Southern Belle. Next.

Arin Ray: “Starships,” Nicki Minaj: The boy formerly known as an inTENsity group member irritated me for two reasons: 1) The unwillingness to take responsibility for his Season 1 failure, claiming that now he doesn’t “have to rely on anyone,” and 2) Being part of a group with unnecessary caps that my computer autocorrects, forcing me to go back and reformat my text. That said, Britney liked his stripped down version of the hit, meaning my wish to see him escape to the island over overly complex titles — ruled by President HawtoRNe — will likely go ungranted.

Beatrice Miller: “Titanium,” David Guetta: Beatrice is like a baby, 2010s version of Fiona Apple: She has a mad cool voice, is incredibly artistic, and is an emotional loose cannon. The young singer almost crumbled under the pressure of having to perform in front of Britney, giving us uncomfortable Season 1 Rachel Crow feelings. Still, she pulled through with an excellent, unique performance of Guetta’s hit. Britney, however, might not think she’s emotionally ready. But if they cut you, Beatrice, just remember: This X Factor is bulls**t.

Carly Rose Sonenclar: “Brokenhearted,” Karmin: Beatrice’s biggest competition, however, is teen frontrunner Sonenclar, who boasts a voice so mature, I think it just purchased a fine Malbec. Smooth, silky, and absolutely refined — is there any beating her at this stage? Word to the wise: Stay away from the Cornucopia, Carly.

What did you think of the episode? Which eight will advance to the live shows? Were you as disappointed as I was that the ho-hum “Overs” proved L.A.’s first instincts right? Did you feel like checking yourself into a retirement home every time the teens said they’ve been working towards this their whole. Entire. Life? And are you, too, disappointed that we were treated to no pool-centric slapstick at Britney’s home? How did no one fall in?!

[Image Credit: FOX]

THG is counting down the 100 Hottest Bikini Bodies of 2012!
From now until the end of the year, we'll be paying tribute to the hottest of the hot with bikini photos galore. The competition is guaranteed to be sweltering.
Keeping the hotness rolling today at #66: Maria Menounos!
Previously, we paid tribute to Ali Landry bikini pictures. Today, it's Mario Lopez's co-host.
Maria Menounos is Extra hot, you could say.

It should come as no surprise to The Real Housewives of New Jersey viewers that Teresa Giudice dislikes Melissa Gorga. With a passion.
But what is the source for this total and complete hatred?
According to In Touch Weekly, it centers around Teresa's husband, Joe, who reportedly has a wandering eye for more than just Atlantic City hoes.

The Bachelor's Molly Mesnick is pregnant with her first child.
It will be the second for her husband, Jason Mesnick, who was the first single dad to star on the ABC reality show. He has a seven-year-old son, Ty, with ex-wife Hillary.
Jason and Molly tied the knot in 2010.

Justin Bieber is a distant cousin of several other celebs you are quite familiar with. Call it a Canadian dynasty of music (and a little acting) stardom.
According to Ancestry (dot) com, Biebs is related to ...
... Celine Dion, Ryan Gosling and Avril Lavigne! Wow!
We're talking 10th, 11th and 12th cousins, but still.

Vanity Fair alleges that La Toya Jackson raided and pillaged Michael Jackson's house just hours after he died, and the late singer's sister is infuriated.

La Toya is threatening to sue the magazine if it doesn't retract the story.
The article, entitled "Estate of Siege," claims she showed up at MJ's mansion shortly after his death and began stuffing plastic bags filled with cash into a duffel bag.

Two things are rather clear at this point:

1. Ashton Kutcher is dating Mila Kunis.
2. Mila Kunis really is the Sexiest Woman Alive.

Combine these two facts and there's little wonder that an insider tells Us Weekly Moore is "not psyched" about her ex moving on with the gorgeous actress.

"She was always insecure over the course of her marriage," a friend says of Moore. "So, yeah, it's hurtful that he's with someone he knew the whole time he was with her."

Nicole Kidman has really transformed herself...into another famous actress. The Aussie star has taken on the title of princess in her new role as the screen legend Grace Kelly for her upcoming film Grace of Monaco.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, after all, and Kidman has Kelly's iconic look down to a T. Rifling through some old images, the visual comparison between the two is striking: from the coat, to the curled bob--heck even the sunglasses are on par. Demure and sophisticated ladies both, Kidman's portrayal of Kelly will focus on her involvement with Monaco's Prince Rainier III (whom Kelly married in 1956) and the attempts she made to make peace between her adopted country and France (particularly then-President Charles De Gaulle) over tax laws in the 1960s.

Don't believe us about the uncanny resemblance? Take a look and judge for yourself, below. Kidman is on the left, Kelly on the right.





What do you think about the resemblance between Kidman and Kelly? Did they make the right casting choice? Sound off in the comments!

[Photo Credit: WENN.com (2); FlyNet (2); Getty Images; Bauer Griffin]

Hello, X Factor fans! Your beloved recapper Shaunna is otherwise engaged this evening, so you're all going to just have to deal with me (Alicia) this evening. So, if my opinions are different and the tone is completely inconsistent with what you're used to, you're just going to have to deal. I promise that I'll try to make it good for you guys though, OK? Let's get right down to business. Music business!

THE CONTESTANT CUTS
The show got started with a symphony of melodrama. The gaggle of folks we knew before had to face the music and brace for the final cut to make it to the judges' house. Everyone was sad! Everyone was nervous! Dreams were in peril! So, of course, the producers decided to spend about 59 years dissecting all the nerves. Overall, the judges seemed to be on the same page, though judge Britney Spears seemed a bit surprised from time to time when Simon Cowell and Demi Lovato didn't agree. No one is really all that surprised by L.A. Reid's crazy hissy fits though, huh?

The singing categories were broken down as such: The Fetuses (Teens), The Incorrigible Youths (Young Adults), The Olds (Over 25), and the groups.

YOUNG ADULTS:
CeCe Frey (duh)
Willie Jones (and his fly ombre jeans)
Fennel Jennel Garcia
Nick Youngerman
Paige Thomas (and her Lauren Conrad tear.)
Jillian Jensen

OVER 25s:
Jason Brock
Daryl Black
David Correy
Tara Simon
Tate Stevens
Vino Alan

TEENS:
Beatrice Miller
James Tanner (what the what is this Baby Bieber doing wearing his sunglasses inside?)
Carly Rose Sonenclar
Diamond White
Reed Deming
Arin Ray

GROUPS:
...and here's where the TWIST THAT'S NOT A TWIST AT ALL happened! They're calling people back to make some GROUPS. Three originally made it as-is, and the last three groups were created by the judges. They are:

Sister C
Dope Crisis
Emblem 3
Playback (new all-boy group)
LYLAS (new all-girl group)
ONE4FIVE with Lyric

So there are our top performers! So now it's time to run over to each judge's not-actually-their-own-house-house to perform and meet their judge and mentor. First, the groups show up at Simon's Miami abode (on a boat!), and some of them even think they're at an imaginary home that people can't actually own (Fact: they just make these houses for show and they sit empty!). Their mentor is...Marc Anthony? Random-seeming, but OK! Moving on.

For the young adults in LA, everyone is talking about how much they belong in Hollywood! LA the dream-maker, rump-shaker. You know. Demi's fake downtown LA apartment is so edgy with its exposed brick and sparse layout. She's so cool and hip and understanding of the youngs. and Nick Jonas is their mentor. [Insert screaming girls here.] The tweens are off to Britney's house and OMG LOL! Welcome to the 'bu (sorry, Malibu). Who was there to greet them? Mentor and part-time space DJ Will.i.am, y'all! What...a letdown (yeah, I said it).

Now onto the olds heading to L.A.'s house in the Hollywood Hills. And this one is sure to be hilarious because L.A. is P-I-S-S-E-D that he has the non-young, non-sexy, non-easily-marketable group (because the music industry sucks the blood of its young. People over 25 should basically just go live in retirement homes rather than try to be in the music industry. Duh!) Not one to shy away from his feelings, L.A. quickly tells his group about how disappointed he has to pretend he wants one of them to win. Ugh! What a drag! To calm his nerves L.A. Reid has brought the Biebs himself--aka Justin Bieber for you olds out there--in his corner as mentor. Phew! For a minute there we were all afraid L.A. was going to run off to a nursery school to stave off the vapors.

Stevie Nicks has issued a public apology.
A couple days after the Fleetwood Mac singer got involved in the Nicki Minaj/Mariah Carey feud by referring to the former as a "little girl" who needed to be choked, the artist has come out with a statement.

“I want to apologize for my remarks about Nicki Minaj’s behavior toward Mariah Carey which I said during a long and exhausting day of interviews,” Nicks tells Just Jared.
“It was very out of character for me and I deeply regret what I said. I feel very protective toward Mariah Carey who has gone through many difficulties in her life and I spoke without thinking. I think all artist should be respectful toward one another and that includes me. I am truly sorry.”

Taylor Swift covers the latest issue of Rolling Stone and makes something very clear in her feature:
She never kidnapped boyfriend Connor Kennedy!
Responding to an odd story that alleged Swift missed her man so much that she flew him out of Nashville unannounced, Taylor tells the magazine:

Emily Maynard and Jef Holm called off their engagement and broke up over the weekend, according to a reliable source who seems to never be wrong.
Reality Steve claims that while no official announcement of their engagement ending has been reported, he knows for certain that the couple is done.
Steve posted the following about Emily Maynard and Jef Holm:
"I don’t care if you say I’m crazy ... until Jef and Emily [confirm it], I guess that’s when you’ll believe it, but I can tell you right now that Jef and Emily broke up this weekend."
"Done. Over. No longer engaged."

Jennifer Lawrence may star in The Hunger Games, but she's glad she isn't hungry in real life.
In a revealing interview with Vogue UK, the actress - who has somehow been referred to as overweight by ridiculous critics - comes down on the Hollywood culture and many rail-thin bodies out there.
"I’m so tired of the lollipops,” Lawrence says of other stars out there. “It’s hilarious, the way I’m supposedly the overweight one? Like, they got me at the movies yesterday and the caption read something like ‘Curvy star cannot wait to dig into tub of popcorn.’ I mean, C’mon!”

Justin Bieber is currently on tour. Not all fans can snag tickets to the singer's sold-out shows, however.
But THG is making it possible to feel like you're inside an arena, as we've uncovered a high-quality video of Bieber's soaring concert introduction.
Watch now to see a clock tick down... Justin spread some wings and descend on to the stage... and then make the fans go truly wild with a rendition of "All Around the World."

It's official: Jason Sudeikis is the luckiest human being on the planet.

Tori Spelling is out of the hospital - and on to the cover of Us Weekly!
The actress, who underwent surgery last month due to complications from a c-section, is all smiles inside the latest issue of this tabloid. And for good reason:
She's holding newborn son Finn...
"When they put him in my arms I was like, 'We made it.''" Spelling tells the tabloid. "We have an insane bond. We've been through hell and back."

In shocking and yet not-at-all shocking news, Lindsay Lohan and mom Dina Lohan were involved in a blowout, violent altercation early this morning, according to TMZ.
So bad it ended in a 911 call. Unreal.

Lindsay and Dina Lohan went to a nightclub in New York City last night, staying out until 4 a.m. before heading home to mom's home on Long Island.
Who the hell goes clubbing with their mom until 4 a.m.?

HG is counting down the 100 Hottest Bikini Bodies of 2012!
From now until the end of the year, we'll be paying tribute to the hottest of the hot with bikini photos galore. The competition is guaranteed to be sweltering.
Keeping the hotness rolling today at #67: Ali Landry!

Previously, we paid tribute to Stacy Keibler bikini photos. Today, it's Mario Lopez's ex-wife.
Mario Lopez is officially an idiot.