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Tiger Woods: The Ultimate Family Man

In a display of irony even thicker than his pulled Accenture ads, Tiger Woods talked in an interview just weeks ago about how he always puts his family first.

On November 17, a mere 10 days before he wrecked his car and image, Woods sat down for a chat with New Zealand's Sky Sport reporter Murray Deaker.

During the interview, he raves about wife Elin Woods, and their kids.

"[Having a family] has been great, actually, the best thing that ever happened to me," he says. When asked if a mentality of "family first, golf second" has always been his mentality, the 14-time major champion insists, "Always, always."

Sleazeball. No clue how Rachel Uchitel, Jaimee Grubbs, Kalika Moquin, Jamie Jungers, Mindy Lawton, Cori Rist, Holly Sampson, Joslyn James, Loredana Jolie, Julie Postle and Theresa Rogers fit in. Probably a close second... through 12th.

Tiger Woods, Family Man

Raw Seduction: The Tiger Woods Voicemail Remix

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We've heard her pleas for attention and we've seen plenty of Jaimee Grubbs pictures<, but few details about her relationship with Tiger Woods were known.

Until now.

The most vocal of three women alleged to have had an affair with Tiger Woods recently sold a voicemail recording he left for her last week to Us Weekly.

It's only a matter of time until Jaimee Grubbs leaks this new one, though. 'Cause Tiger knows how to treat a girl, and oh, how this seductive remix proves it!

We know about his voicemail plea to take her name off her greeting, but his sexy voice over these beats will ensure J-Grubbs takes off a lot more than that ...

Tiger Woods Voicemail Remix

Out of the Woods: Tiger Gets Tiny Ticket For Crash, No Domestic Violence Charges For Elin Nordegren

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The criminal chapter of the Tiger Woods saga has ended, with the golfer being fined for careless driving, but no domestic abuse charges filed against Elin Nordegren.

In a much-less-interesting but more appropriate manner than the celebrity gossip public might have hoped for, Woods was cited for careless driving and fined $164.

That's it.

The matter of whether Tiger slept with Jaimee Grubbs and/or Rachel Uchitel remains, but as far as criminal charges go, you can consider the Woods case closed.

"The investigation has determined that Mr. Woods is at fault in the crash," Maj. Cindy Williams of the Florida Highway Patrol said at a press conference Tuesday.

Elin and Tiger Woods are officially out of the ... police blotter.

Tiger's careless driving violation carries the aforementioned fine and four points on Woods' driving record. Not had for hitting a fire hydrant and his neighbor's tree.

More significantly, the FHP will not be pursuing criminal charges after an investigation of Elin Woods provided "insufficient evidence" of domestic abuse on Tiger.

Williams noted that contrary to previous reports, investigators had no reason to issue a subpoena for any medical information that might exist from the incident.

While reports of Elin roughing up Tiger and chasing him out of the house, prompting his car crash, no claims of domestic violence from either Woods were made.

With no testimony or hard proof, it is hard to make a case.

Jaimee Grubbs Pictures: Tiger's Tool Academy Girl

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Earlier today, Jaimee Grubbs, of VH1's Tool Academy quasi-fame, came forward to allege that she had been having a 31-month affair with golf great Tiger Woods.

She says that she met the athlete in Las Vegas back in April 2007 and have slept together at least 20 times since. Those of you doing quick math are correct:

April 2007-Right Freaking Now = 31 months.

In fact, Us promises that tomorrow, it will post a voicemail Woods left Jaimee Grubbs last Tuesday in which he says his wife, Elin, may have caught on to the affair.

Could it be that Jaimee was the mistress whose involvement with Tiger triggered Elin's wrath, and that Rachel Uchitel wasn't even involved (which she claims)?

Jaimee Grubbs Pic

Jaimee Grubbs rocks a red bikini in this recent photo.

While Tiger and Elin will not face charges after the incident last week - he crashed his car into a hydrant and a neighbor's tree after presumably fleeing his mansion in the midst of a nuclear fight with her - he's still got a lot of explaining to do.

That's assuming Grubbs is even telling the truth, of course.

Right now, it's all speculation. But if Us' voicemails and texts are valid - the celeb gossip magazine claims Jaimee's given them the goods - it could get really ugly.

Click to enlarge more Jaimee Grubbs pictures below ...